Today, we talked to our social worker and told her that we would not be taking the twins. It was a hard decision. For three months now, we have been fighting to get information on them that we knew their pediatricians had, while we window-shopped for all the twin accessories and imagining the wonderful, impossible tasks ahead. We had begun reading “Raising Emotional Healthy Twins,” concentrating on the philosophy to think of them as two children rather than “the twins.” (Obviously, that never completely stuck) We had talked to pediatricians and specialists about the children’s known medical issues, and there are some esoteric subjects on pediatric endocrinology we could claim amateur expert status at discussing.
Days, weeks, and months went by, and we still couldn’t get satisfactory answers to our questions. It was probably selfish of us to hold on for as long as we did, when the twins might be placed with other prospective parents less concerned with some of these medical issues. We also know that if we waited any longer, it would be harder to place the children so near the holiday season.
Our social worker assures us this case was unusual, and that saying no to this particular match won’t muck up our chances of getting another match with another child or children. For not being religious, we are curiously fatalistic – we will get the right kids for our family when the time is right.
And the twins, G. and J., will get the home they deserve. With all our heart, we wish them well.
Monday, October 26, 2009
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