Risk, Repeat

Having a child is always a risky proposition. Having a child through adoption has additional risks, chief among them the risk that you won’t be able to keep the child you love. That’s true with private adoption or foster-adoption: the mother may change her mind or behavior, and a court may be called on to decide the fate of your family. It is the position of the California foster and adoption system that if possible, children should be with their biological parents. Perhaps that’s good for the kids, which means it’s ultimately worthwhile ... but that doesn't mean it's good for the nerves of adoptive parents.

We just said we’re not interested in taking on twin boys, a couple days old, born premature. They’ve got some health issues – one needs to stay in the hospital while his lungs develop, both had prenatal exposure to crystal meth – but they were so much exactly what we wanted in any other way, we nearly said yes. The problem for us was the risk of having the babies taken away from us, which was pretty high. The mother had drugs issues (obviously), but she was in a treatment center and had been there for a month. She had given up other kids for adoption, but she was visiting these ones in the hospital. The father seemed to be involved as well. All signs pointed towards a mother who had made some mistakes, but was on the road to recovery and was going to fight for her kids. Better to put the little boys in the hands of someone who just wants to foster and not adopt, to care of them until the court decides the mother is ready. We wish them, and the mother all health and happiness.

Damn, though. It would have been great.

Next ones we hope will have a risk level we can stomach.

Editor & Prey

I’ve given my novel to a couple different people since Thanksgiving for their feedback and suggestions, and as I’ve incorporated their suggestions, I’ve given new versions to new readers. My sister-in-law Kelly is the latest to read and review it, and in some ways, has been my most valuable editor.

Of course, that’s not to be dismissive of the feedback from everyone else, but they are all very connected to me biologically or romantically, so Kelly – as close as we are – is near as I’ve come to getting input from a Trusted Outsider. Besides being a great technical editor, Kelly gets a different sense from some of my characters and their motivations than people who have known me longer and subconsciously fill in the blanks.

Of course, Kelly is a sweetheart and all her notes are prefaced with, “You don’t have to worry about this if you don’t want to … This is just my opinion …” and then in the margins “This made me cry” and “I loved this part.”

Noel Coward said, “I can take any criticism provided it’s unqualified praise.” He never met Kelly. Because of her, I have to write a new chapter to my novel to support an alternate MO for the main character’s actions which was implicit but not expressed is given its due.